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Endarkenment: The Radiance of the Dark

12/14/2018

2 Comments

 
To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark.Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too,blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.
Wendell Berry
I’ve been sinking into the darkness this December, really relishing in the long nights that mark the approach of solstice. At this time of year, the earth tilts so that the northern hemisphere is the furthest it can be from the sun, making the nights long, and they will get longer until the winter solstice, which is the longest night of the year. After the solstice the earth tilts back, nights get shorter and the days get longer, until the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.  Throughout time the winter solstice has been celebrated and ritualized for the “return of light,” with hope, warmth and comfort in its wake.

Although, this post is about the dark. It is about the time before the light returns. It is the state we are in, when the light comes; but it’s not there yet. It’s dark.

My obsession, nay intention, about sinking into darkness is in direct response to an internal longing for restfulness and reflectiveness that I get at this time of year...It’s  also a counter move against the constant positive spin our culture puts on everything. As Wendell Berry said in the poem above, to know the dark, go dark. I’m going dark.
Picture
But first, some context:

We live in a “lights-on” and “light up” culture. There is a bias towards positivity, knowledge, consciousness, and luminosity. I see this everywhere: in modern yoga and mindfulness culture, in well-meaning (but misinformed) grief supporters, and in self-care psychology. We attach to “light” things as worthy of our focus and praise, and banish “dark” things from our lives (or try to, anyway).

We have lit bulbs in our homes and lit lamps in the streets and parks. We have lit phones, lit computers, lit TVs, lit everythings...we literally push the dark out of our lives. (Reading about dark sky preserves is fascinating )

Scientifically, we organize knowledge, find explanations and test predictions. We analyze data, and determine statistics. We shine-our-light on problems we can solve, seek out observable physical evidence, and rest in certainty.

​
What about the mysterious? What about that which cannot be measured or quantified? We are forgetting that we are human beings, not a slew of numbers and statistics. We are losing our ability to be in relationship with the unknown, even though we spend most of our lives in this space.

Even within the modern culture of yoga, there is a skew towards focusing on positivity, and upward movement of the psyche towards betterment and progress. What happens to your practice when you are sorrowful and there is downward movement in your soul and psyche? That yoga, no longer fits. It’s not sustainable.

Heck, even the word enlightenment gets so much more positive press than endarkenment.  

The Radiance of the Dark _ Joan Sutherland from The Joan Sutherland Dharma Works on Vimeo.

I first heard of this word, endarkenment,  in this 12 minute video by Joan Sutherland called The Radiance of the Dark She says that the universe is made up of 96% dark matter. 96%! That leaves only 4 % light. I found that statistic staggering, in our culture that undeniably values light (literally and metaphorically).

I watched the video a few times and every time I hear something more. It’s become one of my favourites  Recently, I jotted down all the words or themes that related to darkness as I watched.I also jotted down word that related to light, for comparison sake.

To explain endarkenment, I thought I’d just share my list with you.
​

DARK

96% - dark matter, dark energy
Still
Silent
Warm
Intimate
Vast
Dreaming
Mysterious
Unfathomable
Interstellar space
Lie back and rest in the unfathomable sea
Deep
Not absence of light, but presence of source
Fertile
Radiance
Meditation is forming a relationship with the dark
Include as part of awakening
Lie back
Rest
Wondering
Surprised
Trusting
Willingness to participate
How am I already in this?
Hold things as questions 
Not knowing
Un-naming
Un-making
Unexpected
Stopping
Putting down
Letting go
Invisible
Welcome that which as been excluded, or relegated to the margins
Ignored
Underground
Come to know the deep currents, rely on them
Cool
Moist
Dark
LIGHT

4%
Conscious
See
Feel
Hear
Enlightenment
Luminosity
What does the sun make grow?
Light on method
Abundance of certainty
Heart on fire
Mind on fire

​
Interesting, huh?!

We desperately need to change our relationship to the dark.


Understanding the dark isn’t about looking for, or turning on the light switch, it’s about forming a relationship with the dark itself. Darkness is not a mistake. Part of the human condition is suffering...not to minimize it but to encourage you/me/us/world to understand that we are equipped to benefit from the dark. To find support there. Just like a seed draws on the cool, dark, moist soil to prepare to germinate, our inner darkness can be fertile. It needs to be included as part of our healing.

Some questions for reflection...

How to the words above resonate within you?
What happens for you in the dark?

What is your particular dream?
Does your body experience endarkenment in different ways than your mind?
How can you welcome that which you exclude from your life?
What deep and dark currents can you rely on?
How can you lay back into the mystery and unknowing?
Are you willing to participate in your darkness?



​In Darkness,

​Sandy

ps. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reflections. Leave a comment below!
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2 Comments
Laurie
1/9/2019 09:17:40 am

I am so happy to come across your comments and the video by Roshi Joan Sutherland. After experiencing the loss of my son to suicide 9 years ago and now helping others to cope with grief and loss, I have come to the point in my journey of wanting to gain a better understanding and developing a relationship with death and the often related experience of the darkness. I think I have found kindred spirits in you and Roshi Joan. Thank you so, so much!!

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Sandy link
1/10/2019 07:38:21 am

Hi Laurie, thank you so much for your comment. It's so helpful to have a network of people who are exploring the same thing! I recently started to read another book on the theme of darkness, that I'd recommend too. It's called Healing Through Dark Emotions by Miriam Greenspan. It's so good!! Anyway, blessings to you, kindred spirit :)

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    Author

    Sandy Ayre
    Occupational Therapist
    Yoga Instructor
    Death and Grief Studies Certificate

    Sandy offers in-person Yoga for Grief Support classes in Edmonton, and world-wide online. 

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