Yoga For Grief Support
  • Home
  • Classes
    • Group Yoga For Grief Support >
      • FAQ
    • Online Yoga Programs >
      • January-April-Schedule
      • Navigating Grief
      • FAQ and Policies
    • Guided Audio Practice - Online >
      • FAQ and Policies
    • Workshops and Speaking Engagements
    • Mentorship for Yoga Teachers
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Newsletter
  • About
  • Contact

When To Start Yoga for Grief Support?

12/9/2019

0 Comments

 
*This post was written the month after the death of my Dad*
Picture
​When a loss happens, it's natural to want to solve it right away. To do something, anything to make it better. But staring a grief support group too early can be counter productive. 

These early days of grief remind me of something important.

Early on, there is a tendency to move away from the reality of the loss. This is a protective response of the heart.

I see this in myself. Instead of using yoga as a way to process what I'm feeling, I've been using it as a distraction. I want my practice to be sweaty and muscley and fast...not a lot of time to think or feel. This is what I need right now. It would be counter productive to the needs of my heart and spirit to force exploring emotions that I'm not ready to feel.

As time passes (and there is no set timeline), and numbness wears off, you will naturally move towards the pain and realities of the loss. It's often as the numbness fades and the realities of living with loss set in,  that more support is needed. It is then, that a class like Yoga for Grief Support may be helpful.

In the Yoga for Grief Support program, we use yoga and meditation as a way to "go inside" and explore the pain and reality of the loss. One has to be "ready" to do this. Starting too early may feel like you are driving with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake.

In most cases (not all), it may take a number of weeks to a few months to be ready for a class like Yoga for Grief Support. Each circumstance is different, with a number of factors affecting someone's readiness. Sometimes, people start a group and realize it's too soon. That's OK too - it's impossible to know what this grief experience is like because each loss is so different.

If you want to explore this further with me, feel free to reach out via email.

I find the poem below, by Wendell Berry to be helpful when considering if you need specific grief support. Sometimes, it is when you don't know what to do, that you are ready to start. 
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
Wendell Berry, from Standing by Words.
Learn More About Online Programs
0 Comments

IT Happened Again...

12/1/2019

8 Comments

 
November was a rough month in my  world. On November 14th, after a two year illness, my Dad died. He had pulmonary fibrosis.

Over the past two years, I have been mentally drafting a blog post called: When It Happens Again.

IT being death and emotional trauma. 

I remember feeling such protest as I was considering the fact that IT could (would) happen again.  A deep revolt and fear around knowing what grief is like, and not wanting to go down that path again.

This mental blog post I had drafted was going to be a piece around how I would cope with grief the next time 'round, based on everything I had experience and learnt since the first time 'round. 

Things like:
  • I'd express my feelings more openly.
  • I'd be more authentic. When asked "how are you?" I'd answer truthfully instead of just saying, "I'm fine." 
  • I'd make self supportive choices unapologetically.

I never did write that post.

I kind of wish that I had - then I could refer back to it as a little pep talk for myself. 

Now that IT has happened, all the best laid plans I had mentally made, have dissolved into the cocoon of shock.

I'm steeped with numbness and shock that has dulled the realities of my outer and inner world. 

My mind isn't working as quickly. I'm forgetful. I start 16 different tasks in a day and don't complete any of them. I didn't brush my hair or my teeth today and I have nothing to show for how busy I felt. 

I don't feel the protest the way I thought I would. That must have burned itself out during my dad's illness as I watched him slowly (and then quickly) decline.

My anxiety is gone. I was paralyzed before his death about what was going to happen. Now it's happened and I've been relieved of that worry. That lack feels numb too.

And yet, the world says speed up when everything within my body and mind says slow down. I feel this tug of war in my gut and my chest and I dread having to navigate it; It takes so much extra energy.

I know the numbness and shock serves a purpose. The heart can't feel the full reality of the loss at once. It is not worth forcing myself out of this cocooned place.

My wise body/mind/spirit will naturally dose itself with the pain and the reality of the loss, in it's own time. My conscious mind may not be privy to this timeline.

So, what do I do? 

I start right where I am.
I rest.
I cocoon.
Be gentle with myself. 

I've noticed more intrusive thoughts in the past few days around the circumstances of his death. This too, I know is normal. Instinctual even. There is a natural tendency to go over it all, again and again. Cognitively trying to make sense of it.

While *the world* wants me to get on with living, and get back to life, I know that pausing, even going backwards into the past is important grief work. It makes the unreal real, and is an important part of processing the reality of the death.

I've found myself gently approaching the pain and reality a couple of nights ago. I drove by the hospital and looked up to the window that was his room. It made my chest ache. I want to live-backwards. I want to spend some time reviewing what-the-hell-just-happened.

I'll probably write it out. Get those thoughts out of my head and onto paper. I may even walk from where I would park my car, to the unit he was on, just to remember and feel it  when I'm ready to.

But, who knows! Grief is unpredictable, and living-in-the-moment for me at this time means responding to whatever need arises, when it does.

It's all vital work. Grief work. Mourning work. 

I do know that this time 'round I am part of (and can rely on) a community of people who "get it" to support me and I feel all those people in my cocoon with me.

This time 'round, I'm more open to receiving care and being cared for. That feels really nice.

Thank you. To those near and far, known to me and unknown. The grief warriors that live this every day. 
We are not alone. 

Sandy
8 Comments

    RSS Feed

    Get new posts by email:
    Powered by follow.it

    Author

    Sandy Ayre
    Occupational Therapist
    Yoga Instructor
    Death and Grief Studies Certificate

    Sandy offers in-person Yoga for Grief Support classes in Edmonton, and world-wide online. 

    ​Learn more about her here.


    Categories

    All
    About The Class
    Authenticity
    Book Recommendations
    Care-givers
    Coping With Grief
    Guest Posts
    Inspiration
    Mind Body Connection
    Mind-Body Connection
    Music
    Nature
    Prayer Flags
    Spirituality
    Taking Yoga Off The Mat
    Videos
    Yoga Philosophy
    Yoga Poses


    Archives

    December 2022
    March 2022
    August 2021
    May 2021
    December 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    June 2017
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    December 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011

Classes

Group Yoga for Grief Support
Online Yoga Sessions
Guided Audio Practice
Workshops

Helpful Info

Resources
Blog
Newsletter

About Us

About Sandy
Contact Us
Privacy Policy
© Yoga for Grief Support in Edmonton
  • Home
  • Classes
    • Group Yoga For Grief Support >
      • FAQ
    • Online Yoga Programs >
      • January-April-Schedule
      • Navigating Grief
      • FAQ and Policies
    • Guided Audio Practice - Online >
      • FAQ and Policies
    • Workshops and Speaking Engagements
    • Mentorship for Yoga Teachers
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Newsletter
  • About
  • Contact